Page 7
Warnings for sad talk about sexual abuse and that some awful conversations happen when you’re naked.
This page makes some interesting reading if you go back through Nay’s story or any other part of the Khaos universe.
Next update Monday evening as usual, see you then!
“How can you have sex you like when you’re only trying to please the other person?”
For some of us, that is the sex we like to have, actually. My own orgasms? Meh. Giving my partner(s) orgasms? Hey, now you’re talking!
That reminds me of the song Sweet Dreams (are made of this).
Specifically the lines:
Some of them want to use you.
Some of them want to get used by you.
Some of them want to abuse you.
Some of them want to be abused.
It’s a slightly different meaning but yeah.
Also some people really are only happy when they’re making others happy. I know I am anyway.
Yeah I’ve heard it’s often a major motivation (for some ace people in romantic relationships, for example.) I don’t have that experience personally but I’d say it would be fine, as long as the motivation is ”I want to make this person happy” instead of ”I feel obliged to make them happy.”
Also: Kellyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Nooooooooo! I was cut up enough by what happened to Ronnie.
Please take this with a grain of salt, because this might just be me being overly sensitive, but…please be careful when you’re saying things like “cut up” when referring to yourself/another person. Some of us who deal with SIB might get triggered by it.
Again. Probably me just being overly sensitive, but I felt the need to speak up. Ignore at will.
Ah no problem. Apologies for the phrasing; I didn’t mean to be triggering. Will make a point of using different terminology in the future.
”I want to make this person happy” instead of ”I feel obliged to make them happy.”
Yes! Those two things are worlds apart.
(And hard to sort out sometimes!)
”I want to make this person happy” instead of ”I feel obliged to make them happy.”
https://gaijinchronicles.com/2005/02/06/moekos-owl/
“If you are happy, I am happy, too.”
I think the clinch there is that you are still getting what you want from the sex. Even though you are choosing to focus it on giving your partner orgasms you are still getting what you want. I think what Ronnie is saying is about not getting having your needs met because you feel forced to only serve others needs. I’m a sub and orgasm denial/only giving orgasms is a big turn on for me but only when it’s controlled and my links are being served as well as my partners. The one time I tried to have sex with my husband even though I wasn’t in the mood (I felt obligated as a wife) I did not feel happy or satisfied. Luckily I have an amazing husband who quickly cottoned on to the problem and stopped. He put me straight and said he only wanted sex if I was completely willing and ready, his needs be damned. In his own words “worst case scenario I have both of my hands and an imagination.”
Can I just say that your husband sounds like an absolutely amazing individual?
Yes you can because he is. I seriously don’t know how I nabbed someone as awesome as him.
Mmm, people think that it’s weird, that you have some kind of disorder if you don’t have sex for your own pleasure – there’s nothing inherently wrong with that.
But in Kelly’s case it’s more of a continuing psychological issue that began with abuse/rape (if she was underage, it was rape). But if you don’t get pleasure from sex, but get off from pleasing someone else, and you’re not unhappy, that’s pretty great.
I don’t really know that I like the way Veronica tries to psychoanalyze Kelly’s sexuality based on abuse that she experienced. People aren’t defined by their abuse or abusers, and to make someone feel that they are simply a product of abuse is incredibly shitty.
Especially the fact that there’s no moment of Ronnie going ‘Oh man, I’m sorry that happened to you, ~sympathy~’ before launching into the analysis.
I disagree- I feel tons of it in the way she talks, and facial expressions and the like- I don’t feel like she is trying to psychoanalyze, I feel like she is legitimately just understand someone she has begun to care about. Also, I feel like a lot of the “I’m sorry that happened to you” happened between the last comic and this one (and to be clear, I’m not talking about the implied sex)
Here’s the thing: One of the big reasons that Ronnie approached Kelly in the first place was that she heard Kelly liked first timers and she thought she could separate from Kelly easily if she felt like it. Not that she’s insincere in worrying about Kelly, but Kelly’s knee-jerk reaction is probably like, “You specifically sought me out for this reason, and now you’re judging me for it?” No, it’s not fair or accurate, but it’s probably how many people would react in her shoes. Or lack of shoes in this case. (Sorry, couldn’t help it.)